Poor Unfortunate Souls
 
Music by Alan Menken
Lyrics by Howard Ashman
Performed by Pat Carroll

Ursula : The only way you've got what you have ever wanted
Is to become a human yourself
Ariel : Can you do that?
Ursula : My dear sweet child, that's what I do
It's what I live for
To help unfortunate merfolk like yourself
Poor souls have no one else to talk it to

I'd admit that in the past I've been a nasty
They weren't kidding when they called me well a witch
But you'll find that nowadays I've mended all my ways
Repented seen the light and made a switch, true? Yes

And I fortunately know a little magic
It's a talent that I always have possessed
And here lately please don't laugh
I use it on behalf of the miserable
Lonely, and depressed, pathetic
Poor unfortunate souls in pain, in need
This one longing to be thineer that one wants to get girl
And do I help them? Yes indeed
Those poor unfortunate souls so sad, so true
They come flocking to my cauldron crying spells Ursula please
And I help them, yes I do

Now it's happened once or twice
Someone couldn't pay the price
And I'm afraid I have to rake 'em 'cross the coals
Yes, I've had the odd complaint
But on the whole I've been a saint
To those poor unfortunate souls

Ursula : Now here's a deal
Ariel : If I become a human, I never been with my father and sisters again?
Ursula : But you have your man
Life is full of tough choices, hm
Oh, and there is one more thing
We haven't discussed the subject to payment
Ariel : But I don't have
Ursula : I'm not asking much
Just token within trifle
What I want from you is... your voice!
Ariel : My voice? But without my voice, how can I...

You have your looks, your pretty face
And don't overestimate the importance of body language! Ha!

The men up there don't like a lot of blabber
They think a girl who gossips is a bore
Yes on land it's much preffered for ladies not to say a word
And after all dear what is idle prattle for?
Come on! They're not all that impressed with conversation
True gentleman avoid it when they can
But they dote and swoon and fawn on a lady who's withdrawn
It's she who holds her tongue who gets her man
Come on, you poor unfortunate soul
Go ahead! Make our choice!
I'm a very busy woman and I haven't got all day
It won't cost much, just your voice
You poor unfortunate soul, it's sad, but true
If you want to cross the bridge my sweet you've got to pay the toll
Take a gulp and take a breath and go ahead and sign the scrol
Flotsam jetsam, now I've got her voice
The boss is on a roll
This poor unfortunate soul

Beluga servuga come winds fo the Caspian sea
Larynxus glausitis et max laryngitis la voce to me
Now sing, keep singing!