Keep It Gay

Music by Mel Brooks
Lyrics by Mel Brooks
Performed by Gary Beach with Roger Bart, Nathan Lane, Matthew Broderick, Brent Barrett, Peter Bartlett, Jim Borstelmann and Kathy Fitzerald

 
Did you get a chance yet to read "Springtime for Hitler"?
Read it? I devoured it! And I found it remarkable. Remarkable!
Then you'll do it?
Do it? Of course not. It's not my kind of thing. I mean, Max, please.
World War II? Ooooh. Too dark, too depressing...

Roger
The theatre's so obsessed
With dramas so depressed
It's hard to sell a ticket on Broadway
Shows should be more pretty
Shows should be more witty
Shows should be more...
What's the word?


Gay?
Exactly!

No matter what you do on the stage
Keep it light, keep it bright, keep it gay!
Whether it's murder, mayhem or rage
Don't complain, it's a pain, keep it gay!

Carmen
People want laughter when they see a show
The last thing they're after's a litany of woe

Roger and Carmen
A happy ending will pep up your play

Roger
Oedipus won't bomb

Carmen
If he winds up with mom!

Roger
Keep it gay

Carmen
Keep it gay

Roger and Carmen
Keep it gay!

Couldn't we agree more? And you have our blessings, Roger, to make "Springtime for Hitler" just as gay as anyone could possibly want.
So c'mon, do it for us, please!
I'm sorry, Max. It's simply not my cup of tea. Still, fair is fair, perhaps I should ask my production team what they think.
Your production team? Who are they?
You'll see. They all live here. Guys! Come say hello to Bialystock and Bloom!
This is my set designer, Bryan.

Bryan
Keep it mad, keep it glad, keep it gay!

Here's my costume designer, Kevin.
Hello.

Kevin
Keep it happy, keep it snappy, keep it gay!

Bryan and Kevin
We're clever, creative
It's our job to see
That ev'rything's perfect
For Mr. De Bris

Scott, my choreographer.
Hi there!
And finally, last and least, my lighting designer, Shirley Markowitz.

Shirley
Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay

Now, they all just read "Springtime". What did you think of it, fellas?

Bryan
It needs glamour

Scott
And glitz!

Kevin
It needs sequins

Shirley
And tits!

Roger, I think that "Springtime for Hitler" would be a marvelous opportunity for you.
I mean, up to now, you've always been associated with, there I say, frivolous musicals.
You're right. I've often felt as though I've been throwing my life away on silly little entertainments. Deopy showgirls in gooey gowns.
It's enough to make you heave. Nonetheless, I'm sorry, Max. I just couldn't do "Springtime for Hitler."
Why not? Think of the respect.
No.
Think of the prestige.
No, no, no.
Think of... the Tony!
Tony! Tony! Tony! Tony! Tony!
What's the matter?
Is he all right?
He's having a stroke.
What?
Of genius!
I see it. At last, the chance to do something important!

Carmen
Roger de Bris presents history!

Of course that whole second act should be re-written. They're losing the war? Excuse me. It's too downbeat.

Roger de Bris presents history!

But maybe... it's a wild idea, but it just might work...

Roger
I... see... a... line of beautiful girls
Dressed as stormtroopers, each one a gem
With leather boots and whips on their hips
It's risque, dare I say, S&M!
(Love it!)
I see German soldiers dancing through France
Played by chorus boys in very tight pants
And wait, there's more - they'll win the war!
And the dances they do will be daring and new
Turn-turn-kick-turn, turn-turn-kick-turn, one-two-three, kick-turn!
Keep it sassy, keep it classy, keep it...

That is brilliant. Brilliant! I speak for Mr. Bloom and myself, Roger, when I say that you are the only man in the world who can do justice to Springtime for Hitler. Will you do it, please?
Please!
Wait a minute. This is a very big decision. It might effect the course of my entire life. I shall have to think about it.
No-
I'll do it.


I'll do it!

Sabu, champagne!

Roger, Carmen and Production team
If at the end you want them to cheer
Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay
Whether it's Hamlet, Othello or Lear
Keep it gay, keep it gay, keep it gay

Carmen
Comedy's joyous, a constant delight
Dramas annoy us

Roger and Carmen
And ruin our night

Roger, Carmen and Production team
So keep your Strindbergs and Ibsens at bay

Roger
I'll sign-

Kevin
Sign

Scott
Sign

Bryan
Sign

Shirley
Sign

Carmen
Sign

Sign!
Roger Elizabeth de Bris!

All
Keep it gay!

Carmen
Conga!

Everybody!

All
La la la la la la la la la la
La la la la la la la la la la
And so the rule is
When mounting a play
Keep it gay
Keep it gay
Keep it gay!