The King Of Broadway

Music by Mel Brooks
Lyrics by Mel Brooks
Performed by Nathan Lane and Ensemble

 
Max
You're looking at the man who used to be the king
The king of old Broadway
The best of ev'rything was mine to have each day
I always had the biggest hits
The biggest bathrooms at the Ritz
My showgirls had the biggest tits!
I never was the pits in any way!

Workman, Bum, Bag lady
We believe you, thousands wouldn't
We believe you, ev'ry word
We believe you, thousands couldn't
We believe each word we've heard

Max
I used to be the king (The king!)
The king of old Broadway
My praises they would sing
A Ziegfeld so they'd say
My shows were always filled with class
The best champagnes would fill my glass
My lap was filled with gorgeous ass
You couldn't call me crass in any way!

Workman, Bum, Bag lady, Violinists, Usherettes, Nuns, and Street cleaner
We believe you, thousands wouldn't
We believe you, ev'ry word
We believe you, thousands couldn't
We believe each word we've heard

Max
There was a time
When I was young and gay... but straight
There was a time
When I was bold
There was a time
When each and ev'ry play I touched
Would turn to gold

Chorus
There was a time
He wore the finest clothes (I did)
His shoes were always new

Max
Now I wear a rented tux
That's two weeks overdue!

Such reviews! How dare they insult me in this manner? How quickly they forget.
I was a protege of the great Boris Tomashevsky.
Yes, yes, I know. He taught me everything I know.
I'll never forget, he turned to me on his death bed and said:
"Maxella, alle menschen muss zu machen, jeden tug a gentzen kachen bischen pfachen krachen!"
What does that mean?
Who knows, I don't speak Yiddish. Strangely enough, neither did he.
But in my heart, I knew what he was saying.
He was saying when you're down and out and everybody thinks you're finished, that's the time to stand up on your two feet and shout:
"Who do you have to f**k to get a break in this stinking town?"

Max
There'll be gala opening nights again
You'll see my name in lights again
I'll go from dark to brights again
My spirits high as kites again
I'll never suffer slights again
I'll taste those sweet delights again
No plethora of plights again
No blossoming of blights again
No frantic fits or frights again
Fame is in my sights again
I'll take those fancy flights again
I'm gonna scare the heights again
Bialystock will never drop
Bialystock will never stop
Bialystock will be on top again

Chorus
Fame is in his sights again
He'll take those fancy flights again
He's gonna scale the heights again

Max
I'll be on top again, hey!